off day

today is thursday. another off day. this is the first i spent a whole day at my new house. i still can't bring myself to call it home although its better now since oue is back and its nice to see him beside me in the morning. but still, this place rots!

i am worried. i spoke to mother superior yesterday and she's sick. it breaks my heart to find out she's sick and i'm not even there to take care of her. she's in the island trying to get better. at least she breaths fresh air there and eats organic vegetables and fresh seafoods. please pray for her recovery. god, i miss her so much. =( i cannot wait to be with her, soon.

the most important day of my life is in five days. my birthday. i don't know, maybe i'm crazy like this but my birthday has always been very important to me. and it always has to happen somewhere else, not where i'm based. the last time i remember that i didn't celebrate out of town was about 4 years ago. 2004. i was in xaymaca. drunk. and singing "waiting in vain" on stage with mike (my ultimate crush that time) on guitars. i was single. but i got better a year after that, i got myself a boyfriend and had a nice intimate dinner with him on my birthday eve and flew to cebu to be with my friends the next day. and this was my first blog about my birthday, in 2005. it won't show the photos though, must be because i hosted it through the now defunct photos.yahoo.com. sucks!

june 3 2008. i don't know what my birthday is going to bring me. i just know it keeps getting better year by year. =)


ps.
i was going to post five beautiful things that will never happen in my lifetime (weddings, engagement and giving birth) but i was too uneasy to finish the entry. i couldn't even get past item two! oh good lord, im so sad! BUT i'm using the word "beautiful" because my friends look happier and more beautiful because of these events happening in their lives.

ps.
TUNI! (because the kid wants me to mention his name in my blog! wait until i make you your birthday entry, you might not want to read my blog anymore! joke! ingat sa amerika dong! hahaha!)

gone crazy!

soooooooooooooooooooo.....

i finally, FINALLY moved to our new house. and it sucked big time!!! the first night was horrible because 1. i was alone; 2. the room stinks; 3. someone is keep on breaking me; 4. i couldn't sleep without oue beside me; 5. claire's lamp isn't working so it was total darkness 7. there's no internet, and; 6. the house is sooo fucking ugly! it was a major depression overnight! i only slept for two hours and wasted the rest of the hours crying and questioning.

i don't have a fancy house in cdo but its nice and decent for me and my family of three. its comfortable and its something you can call HOME! this house now is just as bad as living under the bridge! two months. the owner asked us to stay at least two months for us to get our deposit back just in case we move out. JUST IN CASE MY FOOT! we are moving out again in august because YOUR HOUSE IS FUCKING TERRIBLE!

okay enough! i am getting a heart attack everytime i talk about this stupid house.

oh, last. and it takes me two trains, two buses, and seven, yes, SEVEN fucking escalator rides for me to get to my work place!!!!

*wooooooosaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh* times 1,000,000


one week before my birthday! i don't know what to feel this year. there's nothing going on cuz i think i want silence this time. the last several years i've spent my birthdays(drunkenly) at the beach with some friends. this year i will need some silence. and humility.

maybe i'll just dream that i'll be in manila or cdo or camiguin island with my family.

or maybe i'll just dream of me going to bali.

i don't know. maybe i'll just dream. =)

got an e-mail from mother superior and my spiritual director today

from mother superior:

Saint Theresa's Prayer

May today there be peace within.
May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.
May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content knowing you are a child of God.

Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.
It is there for each and every one of us.

from father raf:

Since you have work on Sundays, can you go to an
anticipated Mass Saturday evening? Find out. Try to
devote a half hour to prayer, listening more than
talking. And remember, PME--Prayer, Moderation,
Exercise.


i feel spiritual today. it must be a sign. =)

si gabby

the homeless is still... homeless! hahaha! shout out to brian and shaz for the patience. i will move out soon and will finally give you your precious privacy! hehe! =)

i will upload urban dub photos and videos soon. they're not that good because i just used my pathetic camera phone but gabby is in it so it doesn't matter. i wanted to have a picture with him so bad but bom wasn't too helpful (the boy's got architect friends there who are gabby's friends) i think he was so embarrassed of me so i just had to let go of that thought!

*fan girl mode*

tangna, he sang AN INVITATION first. and i memorize it by heart. trust me when i say BY HEART. the lyrics, the first note, everything about the song. it is just perfect! and obviously gabby sang it with all his heart. (like me! hahahaha!)

then they played my favorite song from their album embrace, "frailty". wala akong masabi. although i wasn't speechless when he sang it because i was singing!!!!

madaming pinoy but they were boring. i missed saguijo that night. =( saguijo is just the perfect place to watch urban dub, cute intimate space and cool people. hay, i miss guijo street! of course, guijo is just the perfect place for me in makati! haha! =) (now i miss my apartment!)

*fan girl mode off*

after the show, bom and i had a lovely dinner at cafe cartel. aiiiyyyeeee!!!! im surprised we actually go out on dates now since he got to singapore. =)

two weeks before my birthday. i am turning 26. NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! i seriously don't want to age, i swear!!!! =(

renewing my love for gabby

i watched urban dub last night at esplanade and i'm in love all over again.

i swear to God he looked at me, TWICE!!!!

photos soon. (im at work now! hehe!)

I REALIZE I AM SO DEPRIVED OF THE SUN (aka summer sa pinas)

this is the first time, EVER, in my 26 years of existence that i didn't go out to the beach on a summer season! (26 years cuz my grandma always made sure my summers back then were spent in camiguin island for practical reasons, 1. to save money; 2. to probably learn farming; 3. to learn how to eat fresh fruits and vegetables picked out from the garden; 4. to learn how to fish and eat the day's catch for dinner; 5. to learn swimming without having to pay that unbelievably high fees of milo summer shit; and 6. its the ultimate survival test in the island during summers. believe me, when you're in grade 5 and all you know in life is family computer/nintendo/super mario, you will dread when summer is fast approaching and camiguin is like your living hell!)

so yes. FIRST TIME. from march to may, i am in the city. can you believe it???? and i only realized that when the hot season is almost ending. my trip to BKK is not counted at all. please.

and if i were in manila now, these are the five things i'd be doing (or should've done by now since its May already. my summer starts normally in march when 1. bora is still beautifully empty from ugly social climbers; 2. its the month of May already, few months after my performance salary, obviously i'd be broke by now! haha!)

1. obsessing on a new sarong, tanning oil and tsinelas.

2. be on a bus with my GXS family and go on a trip somewhere in luzon and preferebly unplanned! and of course, eating jollibee take out on the bus is a must! (pansol laguna is, of course, NOT counted! and so does puerto galera!)

3. go on a holiday with my man.

4. the photo below is self-explanatory. drinking and getting a tan at 3pm.

my all-time favourite thing to do

5. and of course, the summer is not complete without my annual summer holiday with my high school friends (and yes, we have to match colors. we are embarrassing like that!)

amazing race, siquijor leg! (you should see us prepare for our holidays, we shop together and buy the same clothes!)

the mamasan and her aliping sagigilids! (we were all in black bikinis when we were in siquijor last year. "to feel the mystical powers!" hahahaha!)

and if i were in cdo, i'd probably be drinking and driving with my boys (and maybe occassional parking by the bridge or beach at 4am to drink and watch the stars.)

and if i were in camiguin, i'd probably be (surprise!) feeding the chickens and watering the plants at 7am!

OBVIOUSLY. none of the above is happening. and its making me sad. =( i miss home.

ps.

i miss mother superior too. =(

yay

don't mind my previoust post, im just trying out something and i'm too lazy to delete the entry.

anyway. i have a song!!!!!!!

When I need you
I just close my eyes and Im with you
And all that I so want to give you
Its only a heartbeat away

When I need love
I hold out my hands and I touch love
I never knew there was so much love
Keeping me warm night and day

Miles and miles of empty space in between us
The telephone cant take the place of your smile
But you know I wont be travelin forever
Its cold out, but hold out, and do I like I do
When I need you
I just close my eyes and Im with you
And all that I so wanna give you babe
Its only a heartbeat away

Its not easy when the road is your driver
Honey thats a heavy load that we bear
But you know I wont be traveling a lifetime
Its cold out but hold out and do like I do
Oh, I need you

When I need love
I hold out my hands and I touch love
I never knew there was so much love
Keeping me warm night and day

When I need you
I just close my eyes
And youre right here by my side
Keeping me warm night and day

I just hold out my hands
I just hold out my hand
And Im with you darlin
Yes, Im with you darlin
All I wanna give you
Its only a heartbeat away
Oh I need you darling


ps.
the cabbie was so surprised of hearing me singing along with the song and im also surprised i knew (or rather know!) the song BY HEART. haha! he said "this song, old one ah! why you know?"

ps2.
the next singaporean cab driver who plays freddie aguilar's ANAK for me is going to be one unlucky uncle!!!!!

test

test

i shouldn't have read this book

because it owns me now and i also want to go on a 1 year journey to find my 'everything.' i'm serious. the book is an inspiration! its not even fiction! it actually happened and the characters in her book actually exist! (ya ya, everything i read before were fictions, nancy drew and sweet valley high included!)

EAT PRAY LOVE by elizabeth gilbert.

its crazy how i like to think its my life story, except that i'm not divorced and i don't do yoga (because for the love of God, i can't keep my mind still!) the back cover summary:

It's 3 AM and Elizabeth Gilbert is sobbing on the bathroom floor. She's in her thirties, she has a husband, a house, they're trying for a baby--and she doesn't want any of it. A bitter divorce and a turbulent love affair later, she emerges battered and bewildered and realizes it is time to pursue her own journey in search of three things she has been missing: pleasure, devotion and balance.

So she travels to Rome, where she learns Italian from handsome, brown-eyed identical twins and gains 25 pounds; to an Ashram in India, where she finds that enlightenment entails getting up in the middle of the night to scrub the temple floor and to Bali, where a toothless medicine man of indeterminate age offers her a new path to peace: simply sit still and smile. And slowly happiness begins to creep up up on her.

and my favorite lines:

"I keep remembering one of my Guru's teachings about happiness. She says that people universally tend to think that happiness is a stroke of luck, something that will maybe descend upon you like fine weather if you're fortunate enough. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it, you must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it. If you don't, you will leak your innate contentment. It's easy enough to pray when you're in distress but continuing to pray even when your crisis has passed is like sealing process, helping your soul hold tight to its good attainments."

perfect. it is just perfect. couldn't have said it any better.

this book makes me want to meditate. and be in silence. and be spiritual. and learn how to listen (i can say that i know how to pray) to God. and then when i think my life is in balance, i tend to forget to pray, or thank Him even. =(

siyet i'm so funny. the last time i went this crazy over a book was bob ong's ABNKKBSKNPL? so crazy that i brought it with me to bora and did a whole bob ong's book club thing by the beach and read the book aloud to my equally shallow gxs friends.

this year, as i turn 26, i am going deeper. i hope.

this book reminds me so much of what i really want in life: to do volunteer work and live a simple life, even if it means living in the poverty stricken areas. (yes i know sg is not that place but i have to feed myself for now so i gotta work here like mad, save money, and leave the city life for good!) i always get myself entangled with this materialistic unfair world. i always forget what my heart desires because i always get tempted with the worldly things. what can i do? i am only human and temptation always wins. this is where i want to start working on, self-discipline (which apparently i have zero percent of!) and contentment. two difficult yet attainable virtues. (i know for sure i am NOT the only person who uses the 'what can i do, i am only human' excuse for every failure and distress!)

i think i really need to pray. hard. now.

i think i also want silence.

ang aking ina (popularly known as Edna)

if i do a search on "mother superior" on my own blog, i cannot count by my hands of how many times i mentioned my own beloved mother in my blog.

and even if i'm to describe her over and over again in my blog, on her birthday, mother's day, when i miss her, when i fight with her, when she reprimands me, when she's sad, when she shares her love life, she is just beyond words. she has flaws, of course, but she is just perfect to me. (next are my high school friends, amid their retardedness and brattiness, they're all perfect to me.) or should i say, perfect FOR me.

i am the mother superior's daughter. i am who i am because of her. (okay, my influences are not entirely from her and she may not have the last word when i decide on something) but as early as now i can tell i am going to be like her, a good, not-so-perfect, considerate, lenient, strong, emotional, spiritual, stage mother. (and even bom can strongly attest to this and he has to remind me again and again!)

when i was younger she would always tells me, "i don't want you to be like me who would marry at a very young age." and she just didn't tell me that, she prayed for it. hard. she wanted me to marry after 19. maybe 20 is ok, but not 19. i think the heavens must've heard her loud and clear. now at 25 (turning 26 in three weeks), there is no decent man whom i can see my future with. i spoke to her this morning and told her i am turning 26 soon and i'm scared. she didn't say anything except for "i want to have grandchildren already!" hay, easy for her to say! haha!

mother superior is turning 51 this year and she is beautifully ageing. you can see the lines on her forehead already, these lines are a visible proof of her loneliness and happiness. these lines were developed over the years of pain, loss, laughter, and bliss. and among these lines is a beautiful face (and behind it is a beautiful mind as well).

i have nothing else to say but Edna is THE Mother Superior. and i love her to death.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY MA! (you know you're always the best! thank you for being my strength!)

HELLO GABBY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Urbandub, The Ambassadors, Techisoba Vs. Midi OK!
Philippines
16 - 18 May 08, Fri - Sun,
Various times
Stage@Powerhouse, E

Give a warm welcome to three bands from the Philippines! Rock acts Urbandub and The Ambassadors and quirky electronica group Techisoba vs. Midi will blow you away with their talent!

16 May 08, Fri	7.30pm - 8.15pm	Urbandub
	8.45pm - 9.30pm	The Ambassadors
	10pm - 10.45pm	Techisoba Vs. Midi OK!
17 May 08, Sat	7.30pm - 8.15pm	The Ambassadors
	8.45pm - 9.30pm	Urbandub
	10pm - 10.45pm	Techisoba Vs. Midi OK!
18 May 08, Sun	7.30pm - 8.15pm	Techisoba Vs. Midi OK!
	8.15pm - 8.45pm	The Ambassadors
	8.45pm - 9.30pm	Urbandub

this is it!!!!! hours and hours and hours of listening to urban dub's latest album "under the southern lights", practically memorize all the songs. first note pa lang i know which song it is na! i can't waiiiiitttttttttt!!!!!!!!!! believe it or not, urban dub helped me get through my mental and emotional imbalance the last two years through their beautiful songs. =)

as usual, thanks to bom for my band's information that they're coming to singapore (the man doesn't text, at all. except when i harrass him to reply or anything that has something to do with about urban dub!) and to another abueva, nat nat, for messaging me the schedule on ym!

ps.
tara, let's all watch! ANG DILI MU UBAN BAYOT!!!!!!! (although i got to tell you in advanced, you will be embarrassed when you watch urban dub with me 'cuz i will shamelessly scream "I LOVE YOU GABBY!", groupie-style!)

barely breathing

i am so bothered, i cannot sleep.

moving house is so effing stressful. =( i just want to finally move in to our new house and settle in. right now all my things, pantyshields included, are in big DHL boxes. we are finally moving in on wednesday, which is good, but oue is going home (as in pinas home) on wednesday. =( oue won't be beside me on my first night at home. (so i have a STRONG feeling i won't be sleeping there until oue comes back!)

so this brings me to my announcement: i will pay for a temp roommate on wednesday night to sunday night. i cook, i clean and will be home at 7pm. HAHAHA! who am i kidding?? i don't cook, i don't clean and i won't be home until midnight. so basically, a temp roommate's job description is just to be in the room to accompany me at night. no touching allowed. you can be a stay out roommate, you can go to my house just before i come home and can leave first thing in the morning since i'm so used to waking up alone, i just can't sleep alone at night. all you need to do is sleep beside (NOT with) me at night. but, again, no touching. i have to reiterate this. i am not giving myself away just like that, UNLESS, you are someone i really, really, really, really like. (AND I HOPE YOU GET THIS VERY OBVIOUS HINT, YOU IDIOT!)

anyway.

i am reading a book. EAT LOVE PRAY by elizabeth gilbert. it's a story about one woman's search for everything. she travelled across italy, india and indonesia to find happiness and balance. i see myself in the character, or should i say, the author since its a nonfiction book and the writer primarily wrote down all her emotional, spiritual and physical experiences and heartaches in this book. i love the book to bits! this is what's keeping me company during my 30-minute train ride to work. it's insipiring me to go to italy and learn italian. or maybe go to india and find inner peace and true meaning of meditation and listening to God (i swear i am so good at praying but i never listen!). and maybe go to, um, bali, to, um, i don't know, maybe spend my birthday there? hahahah! i like the "um" part because it reminds me so much of my dumb blonde customer who can't identify chicken from fish (i swear, its not only jessica simpson!)

this is not so relevant but i still would like to share: i was sitting down rolling serviettes one day when our new executive chef sat down across me and said he'd like to help. while rolling those expensive red serviettes, we talked and talked and talked and i accidentaly said "i am a peaceful person." (i couldn't even remember what made me say the line!) then he asked me, "why do you say you are a peaceful person? what is peaceful to you?" i froze. for a second i couldn't answer such deep question. i personally know that i am a shallow person. well, maybe shallow is not the word, maybe "basic" is the best term to use. so i basically answered the chef, "i am peaceful because i can sleep well at night." then he let out a "pfft!" kind of sound with a matching sarcastic face. surprisingly, it didn't offend me and i didn't defend my answer. i mean i know that "sleeping well" at night is not accepted as the sole basis of being peaceful but come to think of it, if you are not at peace and you have so many thoughts/issues bothering you, they all affect your sleeping habits. me, i know i have a good heart and that alone is reason enough to be at peace with yourself. well, at least for me.

but not tonight. its almost 3 am and i have to wake up at 8. AND TUNI WANTS ME TO MENTION HIS NAME IN MY BLOG. (hello tuni, kamosta ang amirika dong? si inday rema nakapag hanap na ba ng amerikanong mapapangasawa? magpadala ka ng pera at malapit na piyesta sa kakarong!)

so there.



ps.
once again, please spare a few minutes for the souls who died in the quake in china. i'm serious. let's all pray for everyone's safety.

five things to do on my off day

1. go to church

2. read a book

3. read module one of 'learn indonesian'

4. dinner with oue, krysse, bri and shaz

5. watch a movie

ps.

please spare a minute and pray for the healing and recovery of myanmar and its people.

sometimes i wish life is as simple as this. boracay, april 19, 2004, 6:14PM

my five best memories with these five people

the word "five" in my blog equates to the word "lazy". in short, my birthday entries are going to be pathetic. wait, no, i think its nice. it's personal and i think it's LOVE-LEH. hahahaha!

so my five best memories with the birthday celebrants. oh wait again, this is what i'll do.

1. two of my favorite photos with the person
2. how we met
3. the best thing the person did to me
4. my favorite moment with the person
5. my birthday wish for the person

let me start of with my two brians, both has the same birthdate, april 15.

to start off, my brian barria, birthday april 15. the brian i rightfully call "mine". my ever loving and demanding ziggy brian. (loving because he never fails to visit me at home during christmas eve and brings me mom's chocolate cake, sometimes apple pie on christmas mornings. demanding because he also never fails to pick up his christmas present on christmas eve!)

1.

L-R: the day i arrived in cdo, august 20, 2007, 8:55AM (as far as i remember, this was after breakfast, he was the first person to see me when i finally made a move to cdo); at mall of asia, may 29, 2006, 6:05PM (after whole day of shopping and eating!)

2. we met at a high school brother/sisterclass thing of xavier and lourdes. then he became my suitor for years and gave me ziggy cards and wrote "i love you's" under the ziggy stickers. he is the sweetest! had i said "yes" to him, i'm sure we'd broken up already and he'd be one of my 'exes' that i'm bitter and not friends with. what was i supposed to do? i was 15! but at 15 i already knew i wanted to keep him and love him forever, with no conditions. (well, except for mom's pastries on christmas, that he has to do. haha!)

3. the best thing brian ever did to me was stay on the phone with me for hours. no man has beaten brian's record of being on the phone with me for hours. 10 hours, baby! i swear bri, you are the ultimate phone pal!!! (although someone might take up your place very soon! haha!) seriously though, brian is my on-call driver slash breakfast partner in cdo. when i tell him to come over to my house and eat breakfast with me, he's there in a flash. and he finishes all the food too! haha! and oh, he's my part-time lover as well. when i need a decent dinner and movie date, he's the first man to call. (if its something else, like drinking, ronan is the name!) and lastly, brian maybe a sweetheart but he tells me straight out when i'm out of the line, that part of him i don't like much. haha! he knows i like people who spoil me, so yea, he knows i don't listen to his fatherly advise. but i still love him though!

4. there's only one repeating favorite moment i have with brian: every christmas eve is not a christmas eve without him. before the clock strikes 10 (yes, 10, before he goes to mass and noche buena with his family) he goes to my my house and eats dinner with me. he's there to first taste mother superior's chicken cordon bleu. he's also there to finish off the adobo. and he's there to pick up his gift in exchange of his beloved mother's tasty chocolate cake!

5. my wish for brian: good health, good career and good woman. the good career, i have to give you credit. getting out of your comfort zone and moving to cebu, carless, homeless, mommy-less and rona-less, you are doing a great job as a trainer! i am so proud of you. but the two other things, 1. you eat a lot and 2. the girls you date are horrible. two of them reads my blog. (yes, you, you are a terrible bitch who broke my bestfriend's heart.) bri, now that you're 26, eat well and please, you know already, you deserve a good girl. =)

HAPPY 26TH BIRTHDAY BRI!!!! thank you for the 11 years of friendship. you are the best. i miss you!

*******************************************************

**now, on to the second brian, the bff (kabadingan abb. of best friends forever!) he is brian, the abigail. si pong ng buhay ko at si babe ng buhay ni shaz. (ewww! pero i got to tell you, hindi na ew ang babe ngayon! haha!) at siya din si brofish sa mga kamote friends niya.

its exactly 3:59AM and writing a birthday entry for pong is more fun than sleeping. (ang yabang, off ko kasi bukas! haha!)

1. i have several favorite photos with brian, but these three are the most "memorable" ones.

L-R: cdo sunsent at lauremar beach resort, november 26, 2006, 5:35PM (this was taken when we got back to cdo after our camiguin accident, this photo is my keychain); next two photos are the "before" and "after" drinking pictures, from the photos you can tell the difference and how much yvonne had to pay for our drinks at bistro on that dreadful saturday night, october 14, 2006, 1:50AM. (google the image of pong pagong ng batibot, and alt tab from that window to this window while looking at the third pic, can you see the difference? wala noh?)

2. i cannot exactly remember when i met brian. the earliest memory i had with him was in oledan square in makati (yes that standard chartered building right across LKG, and yes may starbucks kami!) he was teamless when he was hired so he was squeezed literally into our little office, him being the sixth person inside. mayabang si kuya when i first noticed him. tahimik--now a proof that defies the phrase "first impression lasts" kasi hindi nag last ang katahimikan ni kuya. haha! we were never close back then, he's got different set of friends and i've got mine--my powerful gxs girls. we became close when i became more bobo with work and he's with the mapping team. i had to be nice for him to do the difficult outbound translation/log reading for me.

3. the best thing this person ever did to me is being there for me. anytime. anyhow. anywhere. mapa makati, camiguin, cdo, ilo-ilo, singapore, germany. he's always there even when all he has to say is "ganyan talaga ang buhay!" it pisses me off sometimes but it doesn't matter to me anymore, i know he's listening to my thoughts and when all else fails, he's just there. and of course brian spoils me to death! i know shaz is the only person who has the right to be pampered by brian but i'd like to insist i needed to be a brat to him. hehe! he is just the perfect person to whine to. but the best of all the best was during my first jobless month here in sg. he was just amazing and patient with me. he was my stand-by real-time street directory and my financial manager on nice dinners (i don't forget, i still owe you a nice dinner at some fancy resto, not now though, mahirap ang buhay OFW lalo na pag hindi ka IT! haha!) i got sick, he brought me hot soup. i had no job, he forwarded my resume to his HR. now, i have no home, he offered me shelter. isn't he amazing? (?!?!?!?!) hahahah joke lang bri! i haven't told his fiance shaz that she is one lucky lady (because i always tell her otherwise, "ang malas mo kang brian, laro lang ng laro ng computer games sa madaling araw!" or "ay naku, hija, non-living things ang magiging ka kompetensya mo!"). i don't think i have to because i'm sure she knows by know that she is his queen. (pero shaz, make sure kasi mukhang queen din tong magiging asawa mo)

4. our ice cream days in gxs (rcbc plaza) were unforgettable. at 4am i'd crave for ice cream and he was the only person i wanted to get ice cream with from 7-11. why? because at 4am, he'd just woken up from a "nap" and he had to move for him not to get sleepy again. he's probably the only person i know who tolerates my ice cream cravings during ungodly hours. ice cream time was our major bonding/chismisan/slacking time. and of course, how can i forget our trip to ilo-ilo? and your "i have kwento" ym messages. everytime you type that phrase, i always get excited of whatever chismis you're about to offer. haha! and then there's the camiguin accident, our second lives. naks! hehe! ayoko maging senti sayo bri, hindi bagay. haha!

5. my wish for brian. hmmm, this is hard because i can sense that he's happy of where he is now, except that he misses his family and his kamote friends (no joke, that shirt has got to go! hahah! and your little toy soldiers, too!) ay, wait, all the best in health pala bri dahil sa tuhod mo, one false move at baka mapilayan ka na naman! and of course, i also wish a date for the wedding para makapag file na ako ng leave. yun lang. hehehe! serious na, of course i wish you the consistency of the happines you have now, i hope it will go on and always keep your good heart good. =)

HAPPY 27TH BIRTHDAY PONG! you know you are one of a kind, you are a(n) (action) star!!! and this goes without saying, salamat sa lahat!


OH MY GULAY. ALAS SINGKO NA NG UMAGA. =(


**as of press time, humihilik si san juan! kung hindi lang ako nakitulog sa kwarto nya e tinabunan ko na to ng unan!!!!

i like to move it move it. NOT!!!!

my move to cdo then to singapore was so emotionally, physically, mentally and logistically stressful so i thought i had enough. ay bolsyet, now, i've moved house again and technically homeless. next week, i'm moving house again. i hope it will be the last until i moved to my husband's house! shit talaga! ang hassle mag lipat ng bahay. oh, i don't think i even have the right to say that now since oue did all the moving for me. i feel guilty and sad. guilty because i had to work on our supposed to be 'last day' in the village (jurong) and guilty because like i said, oue had to move 6 huge boxes, 2 mattresses, pillows, hampers and four luggages all by himself to semei which is about an hour away from the village.

i should be depressed at this moment. well i am because i loved that mansionette in jurong. it's a big beautiful house and it's full of happy mahjongera laughters. (and of course, some tears as well!) and i had cooked good pastas there! but you know what, i am not in my depressed depressed mode, like the drama queen sadness kind of depression. i want to cry, as in gxs-kamagong-bom days cry. i want to break down as in my "last" day in manila drama. i just want to let this all out: the sadness, heart break, disappointment, excitement, grief, misery, everything. the drama. the tears. hahahahaha!

but with my work schedule, i do not have the right to be depressed, get sick or be tired.

so yes, i wasn't there last sunday. i finished packing up my things saturday night sunday morning at about 3AM and i had to wake up at 7am to bring bom and his things to his friend's house in bukit timah then i had to work at 10. for the first time in years, we're in the same city but different homes. well, except when we're on holiday in cdo, but that's different cuz we're with our own families. i find our set-up now so, um, unusual.

anyway, i can't write much about the day we moved because i was being totally useless. i'm just thankful krysse and her new blog are making up for my absence.

her entry "so long taman jurong" is so sad. =( the only thing i'm glad about is that i didn't see our beautiful house so empty like that. the scene emptiness would've broken me down.

so where am i now?

homeless, yes. but like i always say, home is where my toothbrush is.

so, home right now is semei, at brian's house. thank you brian and shaz for welcoming me and oue. =)

hay

i am tired, stressed out, pissed off, broken hearted and homeless. =(

above all things, i have no life.

stressful, stressful, stressful

i am unbelievably stressed out. =(