barely breathing

i am so bothered, i cannot sleep.

moving house is so effing stressful. =( i just want to finally move in to our new house and settle in. right now all my things, pantyshields included, are in big DHL boxes. we are finally moving in on wednesday, which is good, but oue is going home (as in pinas home) on wednesday. =( oue won't be beside me on my first night at home. (so i have a STRONG feeling i won't be sleeping there until oue comes back!)

so this brings me to my announcement: i will pay for a temp roommate on wednesday night to sunday night. i cook, i clean and will be home at 7pm. HAHAHA! who am i kidding?? i don't cook, i don't clean and i won't be home until midnight. so basically, a temp roommate's job description is just to be in the room to accompany me at night. no touching allowed. you can be a stay out roommate, you can go to my house just before i come home and can leave first thing in the morning since i'm so used to waking up alone, i just can't sleep alone at night. all you need to do is sleep beside (NOT with) me at night. but, again, no touching. i have to reiterate this. i am not giving myself away just like that, UNLESS, you are someone i really, really, really, really like. (AND I HOPE YOU GET THIS VERY OBVIOUS HINT, YOU IDIOT!)

anyway.

i am reading a book. EAT LOVE PRAY by elizabeth gilbert. it's a story about one woman's search for everything. she travelled across italy, india and indonesia to find happiness and balance. i see myself in the character, or should i say, the author since its a nonfiction book and the writer primarily wrote down all her emotional, spiritual and physical experiences and heartaches in this book. i love the book to bits! this is what's keeping me company during my 30-minute train ride to work. it's insipiring me to go to italy and learn italian. or maybe go to india and find inner peace and true meaning of meditation and listening to God (i swear i am so good at praying but i never listen!). and maybe go to, um, bali, to, um, i don't know, maybe spend my birthday there? hahahah! i like the "um" part because it reminds me so much of my dumb blonde customer who can't identify chicken from fish (i swear, its not only jessica simpson!)

this is not so relevant but i still would like to share: i was sitting down rolling serviettes one day when our new executive chef sat down across me and said he'd like to help. while rolling those expensive red serviettes, we talked and talked and talked and i accidentaly said "i am a peaceful person." (i couldn't even remember what made me say the line!) then he asked me, "why do you say you are a peaceful person? what is peaceful to you?" i froze. for a second i couldn't answer such deep question. i personally know that i am a shallow person. well, maybe shallow is not the word, maybe "basic" is the best term to use. so i basically answered the chef, "i am peaceful because i can sleep well at night." then he let out a "pfft!" kind of sound with a matching sarcastic face. surprisingly, it didn't offend me and i didn't defend my answer. i mean i know that "sleeping well" at night is not accepted as the sole basis of being peaceful but come to think of it, if you are not at peace and you have so many thoughts/issues bothering you, they all affect your sleeping habits. me, i know i have a good heart and that alone is reason enough to be at peace with yourself. well, at least for me.

but not tonight. its almost 3 am and i have to wake up at 8. AND TUNI WANTS ME TO MENTION HIS NAME IN MY BLOG. (hello tuni, kamosta ang amirika dong? si inday rema nakapag hanap na ba ng amerikanong mapapangasawa? magpadala ka ng pera at malapit na piyesta sa kakarong!)

so there.



ps.
once again, please spare a few minutes for the souls who died in the quake in china. i'm serious. let's all pray for everyone's safety.